Children in Separation and Divorce
How a Collaborative Divorce Process Supports Families
Separation and divorce negatively impact children.
According to the Canadian Paediatric Society (CPS) children going through family change will typically feel confusion and concern at best.
When separation and divorce is not resolved using carefully planned steps, and caring strategies, family change significantly the lives of children, especially regarding parental relationships. In many cases, children are placed at high risk of poverty, unsafe sexual behaviour, relationship conflicts, and experiencing separation and divorce later in their own life.
There are key strategies that all caregivers should provide to prevent an increase in psychological stress and other symptoms in children:
- Reduce hostility and conflict within the family
- Stay out of court where possible
- Develop strategies for open communication with children
- Foster a supportive and loving parenting relationship between the child and both parents
How can Collaborative Divorce Help?
Collaborative Divorce is an out-of-court resolution process designed to empower people to resolve family matters and make decisions on their own, without court dictated resolutions.
Members of a collaborative team includes collaboratively trained Lawyers, Coaches, Financial experts, and Child Specialists. Each team member is specially chosen (or not), by the needs of your family. All collaborative professionals have specialized skills to approach family matters with empathy and compassion. The focus is on understanding the unique and individual needs of each family member, while ensuring that people feel heard and valued during the separation/divorce process.
The process is continuously adapted to fit the family situation, as circumstances evolve. During times of conflict, collaborative professionals use a process that ensures everybody feels safe and heard. Sometimes, families choose to connect remotely or via a hybrid in-person/online model. Communication is managed by the collaborative professionals as work progresses towards resolution in a safe and efficient manner.
Mutual respect and amicable communication are important skills to continuously support the parents and the children by addressing the emotional side of family change in a constructive manner.
Less conflict means less stress – this allows parents to focus more of their energy on restoring other matters. Reducing children’s exposure to conflict, and parenting effectively, significantly impacts the effects of divorce on children.
Collaborative Divorce is focused on ensuring that separating parties commit to respecting each other, making the needs of the children a priority. Collaborative Divorce provides the opportunity for families to problem solve, explore, and agree upon their own solutions with the support of collaborative professionals. Collaborative Divorce can ultimately takes less time, save money, and reduces stress compared to court litigation.
Written By:
Gerry Bock, MA, CTS, Registered Clinical Counsellor Parenting Coordinator, Family Law Coach, and Family Mediator
E-Mail – Gerry@bock.ca Telephone: 604-574-6555