Cognitive Restructuring in the Collaborative Process

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How Changing Your Thinking and Feeling Improves Outcomes

What Is Cognitive Restructuring?

Cognitive restructuring is a component of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) that helps people identify and change negative and unhealthy thinking patterns.

Everyone experiences difficulties and challenging patterns of thinking and feeling during a collaborative process. These difficulties affect the way family members think, feel, behave, and how they interact with each other. The goals of the collaborative process include creating healthy patterns of interaction between participants.

Cognitive restructuring enhances the collaborative divorce process by improving communication, developing understanding, and reducing conflict.

Some examples of how Cognitive Restructuring helps:

  1. Identifying Negative Thought Patterns:
  • Cognitive Restructuring involves recognizing and challenging the conflicts, and resulting thoughts and feelings which are unhelpful in the Collaborative Divorce process. All participants have opportunity to identify and address negative assumptions, and fears that hinder productive discussions.
  1. Promoting Balanced Thinking:
  • Through replacing distorted thinking with balanced and realistic expectations, Cognitive Restructuring encourages a more constructive mindset. This in turn leads to more effective problem solving during negotiations.
  1. Reduction of Emotional Reactivity:
  • Cognitive Restructuring helps people to better manage emotional responses by reframing thoughts, maintaining focus on important goals. This creates a calmer, more respectful environment for discussions.
  1. Enhancing Communication:
  • Improved thinking patterns lead to communication that is clearer and expresses more empathetic understanding. Clear, open and empathetic communication is critical in the Collaborative Divorce process where open, honest dialogue is required to reach mutually beneficial agreements.
  1. Improved Resilience:
  • Cognitive Restructuring facilitates an increase in resilience by helping participants cope more effectively with stress and uncertainty. All participants are empowered as the separation and divorce process is navigated with greater confidence and stability.

Cognitive Restructuring supports the collaborative process by promoting healthier thinking, reducing conflict, and enhancing communication. This leads to more positive outcomes for everyone involved.

Collaborative coaches (also known as divorce coaches) do not provide counselling therapy in their role in the collaborative process. This article demonstrates how a coach can draw upon proven skills to provide clients with tools, such as Cognitive Restructuring, throughout the process, for improved outcomes.

Written By:
Gerry Bock, MA, CTS, Registered Clinical Counsellor Parenting Coordinator, Family Law Coach, and Family Mediator
E-Mail – Gerry@bock.ca Telephone: 604-574-6555