Considering the Needs of Children in Family Law Cases Through the Collaborative Process
We’ve all heard the saying, “Children do not come with a manual.” This rings especially true during a family crisis, such as a divorce, when clarity about handling children’s needs becomes crucial. Decisions made during this time can affect children for the rest of their lives, making it essential to focus on their best interests rather than the preferences of parents or guardians. Collaborative professionals can provide valuable insight into understanding and addressing these needs during separation and divorce.
An agreement is considered in a child’s best interests when it ensures their physical, psychological, and emotional safety and well-being. Several factors are considered, including the child’s care history, the child’s views, any incidents of family violence, and each parent’s capacity to provide care. The BC Family Law Act and the Divorce Act outline these considerations in greater detail (refer to section 37 of the Family Law Act and section 16 of the Divorce Act for comprehensive lists). Ultimately, the priority is to keep the child safe and healthy while fostering positive relationships with the caring adults involved in the child’s life.
The “Collaborative Process” is an excellent framework for helping families stay child-focused during a separation or divorce. Unlike the court system, which often heightens conflict within separated families, the collaborative approach encourages parents to work together with the guidance of trained professionals, including lawyers, coaches, and child specialists. This process fosters a supportive environment where parents can make thoughtful, child-centered decisions prioritizing their children’s well-being, reducing the emotional toll on the entire family.
A neutral “Co-Parenting Coach” or a pair of aligned coaches can assist parents in navigating these difficult conversations and negotiating what is truly in their children’s best interests. If children are old enough to express their views about decisions involving them, a “Child Specialist” can interview them and provide feedback to the parents and professionals about how certain decisions may affect the child.
By focusing on open communication and mutual respect, the collaborative process empowers families to transition through difficult times while ensuring the children’s needs remain at the forefront. This child-centered approach increases positive outcomes and helps preserve healthy relationships between parents and children.
Stay tuned for an upcoming blog post that will explore the importance of a child’s voice in the separation process.
When co-parenting, knowledge and skills alone aren’t enough—we need a “recipe” to follow. This recipe is essential because once families experience the healing and joy that comes with a strong parent-child relationship, parents realize that they are fully capable of being great parents.
Written by:
Gerry Bock, MA, RCC (Co-Parenting Coach and Child Specialist)
E-Mail – gerry@bock.ca
Telephone – 604-574-6555